The Angry Goat

MMMMMmmmmm

Turn Ons:
Walking distance to other bars
Remodeled Interior
Nice Owner

Turn Offs: 
Rude guests
Poor beer selection
Poorly trained staff
Lame food
No Parking

Summary: 
Is it called "The Angry Goat" because that is how their guests feel when they leave?
I bet you can see where this is headed....
Here is their website The Angry Goat
(Enter the same exact rant about crappy websites from our Cub Room review, except this one includes advertising to buy crappy t-shirts with their stupid logo on it)

You know how whenever you drive by the intersection of Goodman and Clinton, there are always those idiots who are 2 feet away from being in the middle of traffic?  That's the Angry Goat!

The Angry Goat used to be a hole-in-the-wall pub.  And now it is a remodeled hole-in-the-wall pub.  Wait. What?  Yeah.

We've been here a few times because we kept wanting to give them another chance to prove us wrong.  They did not succeed.  We give up.

The Angry Goat wants to be your local neighborhood pub, where people walk to after work for a quick beer.  Like Cheers, where everyone knows your name.  Then, they go ahead and do specials, special events, and sponsor kick-ball teams... And it gets too crowded.  It is not a chill place at all.

During our first trip, we walked by on our way home from another local establishment.  We swung in for a beer with family members.  It was nearly empty, being the middle of the day.  We had the bar tender's full attention.  It was great.  Everyone was able to find a beer they liked, and we hung out for a short while.  Then, we went on our way.

(It seems like things have changed since then)

After that, we went back with a friend for a birthday celebration.  The bar was overrun with kick-ball teams supposedly sponsored by the bar.  We were kicked out of an empty table that was apparently being saved (by placing a purse on the table) for someone who had not yet arrived.  Not by an employee.  A guest actually had the gall to tell us she was saving that table for someone else.  Of course, there was nowhere to sit or stand, so we left.  We went to The Swillburger and had a great time.

Mike wanted to publicly slam The Angry Goat, but Melisa is the voice of reason.  She contacted the owner and explained our poor experience.  He was kind enough to treat us to a round of drinks to discuss our experience.  The selection was wonderful, again.  He was a great, stand-up guy.  Just trying to live his dream.  We left feeling optimistic.

We came back another 2-3 times.  Each time, there was some sort of craziness going on, where we couldn't move.  The guests were rude.  Everything smelled like cigarette smoke.  We couldn't find a table or a bar stool.  There were always 1-3 people standing in the doorway smoking cigarettes.  One of them was probably the bouncer. The NYS law says you have to be at least 20 feet from a doorway if you're smoking a cigarette.  Oh yeah, I love smelling like an ash tray right as I'm entering a social atmosphere.  That's why I showered and put on deodorant and cologne before I came over.

Their beer selection has gone down the tubes.  They used to have a very diverse craft beer selection.  Now they have mostly domestic beers, with a few uber-craft beers.  What does that mean?  They're like crazy IPAs or Porters that only beer snobs drink because they're way too strong for a normal person.  This is probably due to their regular tap take-overs.  They have a ton of cans and bottles, but I'm at a bar to drink draft beer.  I have cans and bottles at home. And don't even bother with the cocktails.  This is not the kind of place to get a cocktail.
We were also surprised by the price of beer.  For a hole-in-the-wall bar, their beer was pricey.  Most people go to these kinds of bars to drink $3 beers.   Their draft beers range from $5.50-$7.00.    Not cool.

The food sucks.  Everything is just fried garbage.  They try to make it fancy, but they fail.  It is poorly executed.  We tried a few different things, and didn't like anything.   Once again, trying to use fun names to make their crappy sandwich seem good.

The staff doesn't seem to know what is going on.  They kicked a keg (the sour I desperately wanted to try!) and didn't replace it with anything because apparently they couldn't climb over the kegs rolling around the basement to do so.  It just seemed like constant chaos.

Chaos is understandable, because it seems like The Angry Goat is constantly doing some kind of special event to try and draw more people in.  They're always doing a Tap Takeover, Trivia, Kickball After-party, happy hour..... something.  The staff doesn't get a chance to get the regular stuff down before being thrown into the big game.  The Patriots didn't win the Superbowl with their practice squad.  Give your people a chance to iron things out and get really good at normal stuff before you start throwing them into the tough stuff.

I will say that their Garbage Plate did look good, although I didn't try it.  Wedding coming up :)

If we go back, it will be because they don't have something special going on, we want to walk somewhere, and we're tired of the usual local places.  If we get food, I'll try the garbage plate.  We might be able to find a serviceable beer or two.  I don't know.  There really isn't much of a reason to go here.  A beer and a sandwich is around $18, plus tax and tip?  So for the two of us, we're looking at $40-$50?  That's way too much for this crappy atmosphere.

Hopefully, the owner decides what kind of bar he wants this to be.  Because it seems like he hasn't decided which direction he wants to go. 

Rochester Oyster Special Review

This is the summary of the 5 Oyster Specials we've reviewed in Rochester.  For more details on each location, please see the review dedicated to that location.  This is just a quick run-down.

Our summary is that there are really two tiers of oyster specials in town.

Our top 1-3 are all very close to each other and we would recommend them all with the same gumption.  Where they landed within our 1-3 really came down to tiny details and personal preference.  So, use our notes and read the full reviews to decide if you might shuffle them around a bit.

Our bottom selections (4-5) are clearly below our top 3.  Similarly, one could shuffle them between each other, but they are clearly on a level below our top 3.  We would equally caution anyone before attending these locations for an oyster special, and one can move them between 4 and 5 depending on personal preference.

Starting with our favorite at the top.

1) 2 Vine - 
     Turn Ons: Best tasting oysters, great presentation, inviting and elegant atmosphere, best bar area, oysters served with both mignonette and cocktail sauce, great (other) food, great staff, parking lot near East Ave.
     Turn Offs: Cramped Seating area, Oyster Special only available at the bar, only one oyster option, we want the Seafood Platter back.

2) Erie Grill -
     Turn Ons: Best Mignonette Sauce, decent oyster selection, great view of the Canal and atmosphere, very relaxed and intimate, quick service, great happy hour specials and prices for two hours, great $1 salt chips.
     Turn Offs: Worst fries, small space

3) Lento - 
     Turn Ons: Best oyster selection and variance, great cocktails, great service, amazing duck fat frites.
     Turn Offs: Feminine atmosphere, long wait for oysters, pricey entrees

4) Roux - 
     Turn Ons: Romantic and intimate upstairs atmosphere, great staff and few tables per server, fun and unique drinks (absinthe), Very good frites, good food presentation.
     Turn Offs: Atrocious bathroom, bad oysters, only 1 oyster option, hit-or-miss food, small space, no happy hour.

5) The Vesper - 
     Turn Ons: Very good frites, craft beer available,  walking distance to Geva, hip atmosphere, good plate presentation, incredible corn fritters.
     Turn Offs: Unacceptable sauces, no malt vinegar, sketchy neighborhood, bad oysters, only one oyster option, no mignonette sauce with oysters, no ice with oysters, unreliable food quality, no happy hour, servers don't really seem to care.

Check out the full reviews, below!

Orbs (Brunch)

MMMMMMMMMm

Turn Ons:
French Toast
Bloody Mary
Immaculate Food
Top-notch Servers
Fun and Elegant Atmosphere
Fun with the Meatball Puns
Great drinks

Turn Offs: 
The Secret is Out! This place gets packed!
Evening Atmosphere is less inviting
Yeah, nothing bad to say, other than it gets really packed....

Summary: 
Another gem in the South Wedge!  Orbs is located on the corner of South Ave and Caroline St.  It is kind of tucked away from the main South Wedge area, but it's worth the walk!  Or drive, since the majority of people do not live in the South Wedge.  They have their own parking lot and there is pretty easy parking on Caroline St.

This review will focus mainly on brunch since it has been a while since we have been to Orbs for anything else.  We will update the review once we've been back for dinner again.

We arrived at 11:58 for their noon brunch.  They were even kind enough to open the doors at 11:59.  (We have since been made aware that they do open the doors at 11:00, even though brunch doesn't begin until noon, so less freezing in the winter!)  There were probably already 3 other parties there waiting for the doors to open, in addition to us.  It took no time for the place to start filling up.  Our server came right over to see to us.  The staff really seems to enjoy working there, and they have a positive high-energy about them.  They're always smiling.  They're also seasoned servers and know what they're doing.  We've been there with large crowds before and they know to split up the check as they take the orders so it doesn't get crazy when it's time to pay.  We've been there with a few large groups, and every time we're amazed how smooth things always go.

As one would do for brunch, we started with mimosas and bloody marys.  We particularly enjoy their bloody marys with a meatball garnish.  We're kind of Bloody Mary snobs, so you can take that to the bank.  It's hard to get mimosas wrong, and Orbs even dresses them up a bit.

Now would be a good time to point out that meatballs is kind of their specialty.  (Orbs? Get it?)  But, they do others things very well, too.  They're just known for their balls.... and their 12-year old boy level of maturity related to puns having to do with balls.  In our circle of friends, that's a home run every time.  Get the sausage, and now you've got all the material you need!

...getting back on track....

Here is the Bloody Mary, and the $1 9oz beer that came with it for some sort of special.  You're really twisting my arm, here.  A small selection of craft beers is available.  They have a lengthy selection of cocktails, and they were very good.  I did have one awful cocktail around the time they first opened, but I think they've done away with that one.

I ordered the Poutine with the drinks to get some food started.  Poutine is our benchmark for small plates.  Well Orbs, you nailed it.  Some of the best fries in the area, with really good gravy, cheese, spices, and an egg on top.  See here:

Yeah, go ahead and order that one.  You know what, go ahead and order everything.  Seriously, we had ~15 people at our table and we covered most of the menu.  We were there for a while enjoying ourselves.  We shared food.  Not one person was unhappy.  We loved everything we had.

I want to take a second to point out their French Toast with pecans and delicious sauce.  This is the best French Toast you'll ever have.  Unless you're allergic to pecans, then maybe not.  But otherwise, Best French Toast Ever.  I really don't care how your grandma made it.  She's a newbie compared to Orbs.  This is fried bread-turned french toast.  Then covered with the perfect sauce for french toast, and given a little crunch with the pecans.  Have a look.

Other menu items worth mentioning are their Balls Bennie, Breakfast Burger, Balls & Biscuits, and Morning Wood.  I told you about the 12-year old boy puns.  I think half of our group ordered the Morning Wood just so they could say that to the server with a straight face and not be arrested.  "Ummm, yes.  I'd like Morning Wood, please."

OK, I want to touch on the atmosphere.  Here are Betty and Berlin enjoying their Bloody Mary and Mimosa:

The lighting is great.  Even at 12:15, it is already starting to get some traffic.  It is a nice upscale, casual place.  During the warm months, they have a patio where you can observe the happenings of South Ave.  And you never really know what you'll see or hear, out there.

When Orbs first opened, Melisa knew we had something special.  Mike thought it was a terrible location and they'd have an uphill struggle.  The outside of the building doesn't really draw you in.  So we loved Orbs right away.  Melisa more at first, but Orbs grew on Mike.  We would tell everyone looking for a new, unique place about it.  We wanted to see Orbs succeed.  You know; pulling for the little guy!  In the short time that Orbs has been open, no one cares if the outside isn't inviting.  Their reputation more than makes up for it.  Everyone loves Orbs.  Now, our only gripe is that it's too freaking busy all the time!  Now we wish less people knew about it!  Around dinner time it can be tough to get in with any kind of reasonable wait.

Mike's other small gripe is that the atmosphere changes a bit on Thursday-Saturday evenings.  It feels more like East & Alexander than the South Wedge.  So many little black skirts and Ed hardy button-ups; ugh puke.  It is also crazy packed, and you're lucky if you can see the bar, let alone push and shove your way to it.  One can only assume that the guests are stopping here on their way to the club.  That's just not really what the Wedge is about, so we tend to stay away during these times.  With that said, we'll be back to give the night-life version of Orbs another try to see if they can sway us back.  They still have the same great food and drinks, after-all.

So, what do we think?  Orbs probably has the hands-down best brunch in Rochester.  They handle large parties very well.  Their staff is among the best we've seen.  Their food is unique, fun, and so flavorful.  They have a wide range of drinks (including coffee cocktails), and they're all amazing.  If you're going for brunch, get there at noon.  If you're going for dinner, call ahead.  We recommend passing when the partiers are out. But, you'll love Orbs.  They've created their own culture, and it is a big hit with everyone.  Well, unless you hate fun.  Then it might not be a hit.  But, that's the only case.  Orbs is worth a visit, for sure.

2 Vine (Oyster Special)

MMMMMMMMmm

Turn Ons:
Best Oysters
Great Cocktails
Great Food
Great Staff
Good Atmosphere
Huge Bar
Parking Lot near East Ave

Turn Offs:
Oyster Special only available at the Bar
Only 1 Oyster Option
Missing the Seafood Platter
Strange Bar -vs- Seating Areas

Summary: 
This review will focus on 2 Vine's Oyster special, as we are taking the week to go to an Oyster Special every day and compare them. But we are also touching on other items, as well.

2 Vine sits just off of East Ave, on Winthrop St.  It essentially shares a parking lot with Hearts Grocery.  With parking at a prime in the East & Alexander area, a nice restaurant with its own parking lot is a real find. Combine that with the class and quality of 2 Vine, and you've got a real winner.

Walking into 2 Vine, you're greeted with a HUGE rectangular bar. It feels upscale, and you'll fit right in with a suit and tie.  Don't worry, you don't have to dress to the 9's if you don't want to.  But you can do that if you're looking to impress.  The $1 oyster special is every weekday from 5:30-7:00.  That's good, so you can go any day.  And, the day you go; it won't be swamped with everyone else trying to get there for the oyster special because they can go any day, too.  You do have to go to the bar for the oysters, so that's a bummer if you wanted a table.  Especially, if you have a large party.  With how large their bar is, it is apparent that they're trying to drive traffic there.  Really.  That bar looks empty with 20 occupants. So, go ahead and put your oyster order in with your drink order.  Hang at the bar a bit.  You can always grab it and take it to your table, or just stay at the bar.

Here, you can see our oysters on a nice tray, on ice, with both cocktail and mignonette sauce.  Their Tuscan Calamari is very good. It isn't breaded, and it does have quite a bite, but it is very good.  My favorite un-breaded calamari, easily.  And among my favorite calamari.   The cocktails are delicious, as well.  $10 a piece isn't bad.  They have a few craft beers, too.  If you want the oyster special, you get what you get.  There is only one type of oyster available for the special.  It sounded like we could get other oysters if we were willing to pay full price for them, but that isn't in the menu, so I don't know what was going on there.
I'm not a big fan of cocktail sauce on oysters so I can't help you there.  But it certainly looked and tasted like it was house-made.  I'd place their mignonette sauce just a hair below Lento's.  Still good, but not really special.  But their oysters were by far my favorite.  Just so so good.  So flavorful without tasting like the bottom of the ocean, and they had the right texture.  There weren't pieces of shell breaking off.  The presentation was immaculate.  We couldn't get enough!
A few people ordered their burger, and it was a huge hit.  I got to try some and it melts in your mouth.  I didn't even need cheese on mine!  Certainly one of the best burgers in town.  You wouldn't expect that coming from a place so well-known for seafood, but there you have it!
If you want good seafood, come here.  There is a great selection and it is done very very well.
We do wish they'd bring back the seafood platter.  We loved that!  Which brings me to the discussion about their availability on Grubhub.  Yes, you can order 2 Vine on Grubhub.  So, let's start with "YAY!"  You can't beat getting this kind of food being delivered to your house.  However, we think that 2 Vine REALLY isn't meant to be eaten delivered.  They have an amazing staff in the kitchen and great servers.  This food is meant to be consumed asap, in their dining room.  So, you're going to lose some of the quality when it is packed, driven, and delivered.  That being said, I can't imagine any better delivery!  We also have noticed a little tweaking to their menu.  We suspect that was done in order to create a menu that is more delivery friendly.   We were worried that would cheapen the food and the brand.  But we have to say; 2 Vine is still so delicious.  The food hasn't suffered.  We can argue over the brand being cheapened as a result of being able to order it on Grubhub, but until I see glaring evidence to the contrary, I'm going to guess that the owners know what they're doing.
The atmosphere at 2 Vine is kind of the opposite from most places.  Well, with respect to one item.  I actually felt like we had more elbow room at the bar.  When we moved to a table, everyone was stacked on top of each other and brushing against people's back to scoot by.  Generally, not being a fan of, well, people... I found it to impact our ability to remain in a relaxed state.  Constantly turing around to check someone passing behind me, or feeling bad for bumping people when I had to pass by.  I actually felt more comfortable at the bar, where we could sit at the bar, stand behind our chair, or even walk up and down the bar to talk to friends.  They're really trying to sell the bar area.  I say "Take them up on it".
I think when we go back, we'll just stay at the bar.  Of course, that doesn't really work for groups larger than 4, so there is that issue.   But if you're on a date and your date isn't lame, just go to the bar.  You'll get right in, get to take advantage of the oyster special, and probably be more comfortable.  There's always the chance that you meet someone new, too.
All-in-all, 2 vine is our favorite oyster special in Rochester and its hard to beat their food.  Even if you're not a big seafood fan, they have something for you that will make your mouth water.  We nit-picked a few minor items, but it's hard to go wrong with 2 Vine.

The Vesper (Oyster Special)

MMMMMmmmmm

Turn Ons:
Hip Atmosphere
Plate Presentation
Corn Fritters
Great Frites
Good Cocktails

Turn Offs:
Bad Oysters
Only One Oyster Type Available
No Mignonette Sauce
No Malt Vinegar (or anything, really) for Fries
Unreliable Food Quality
Bad Location
No Happy Hour

Summary: 
This review will focus on The Vesper's Oyster special, as we are taking the week to go to an Oyster Special every day and compare them. But we are also touching on other items, as well.

Vesper: Meaning Evening in classic Latin.  Well, it is a bar and restaurant.  So, everything happens in the evening.  Makes sense....

Let us begin with The Vesper's location. Go to downtown Rochester and look for the most random, out-of-the-way, sketchy corner.  Now, you're at The Vesper.  OK, it isn't THAT bad, but it is down a one-way street, basically underneath the South Ave 490 Ramp. 
Vesper Map
It is walking distance from Geva; about 2-3 blocks.  So it is a good choice before a Geva show as long as the weather is agreeable.  Parking is metered, but in Rochester it is free on weekends and after 6PM on week days.  So, don't pay after 6:00!  There is no reason to get there before 6:00 since they don't have a happy hour.  The lack of happy hour is a bummer if you just want a quick drink and app, but good if you don't like the Happy Hour crowd.  And the Happy Hour crowd, you do not get at The Vesper.  The Vesper is so tucked away that no one knows about it yet.  So, you don't see the usual crowd of people in their khakis and button down shirt, straight from work.  The Vesper's patrons made a conscious effort to be there.  They didn't want to go to just some bar.  If you're inviting someone from out-of-town, carpool or have them follow you.  With the weird streets over there, it can be difficult to locate it.  It looks like The Vesper is in an old building that was once used for manufacturing.... something.  Recently, it has been turned into an apartment building with stores, restaurants, and a club.  On the outside, the building still looks like the old, crumbly brick.  No doubt, the owners claim that this is to retain it's charm and history.  I see "save money on renovations".  We can't speak to the apartments, which we are sure are very nice, but The Vesper is very elegant and charming on the inside.  That doesn't mean it isn't in a shady part of the city, though.

Enough time on that.  We were seated straight away because at around 5:45, no one was at a table yet.  There were a few people at the bar, but we seemed to be the first diners.  I ordered their signature drink (The Vesper), which is touted as "James Bond's drink".  It is basically a martini without any fancy sweet flavors added to it.  I really enjoyed how there was just a little bit of very fine crushed ice on the top, but not much.  I got that "iced" feel, without feeling like I was drinking a snow-cone.  This drink can be enjoyed by sweet and dry cocktail drinkers, alike.  Very good.  My only gripe is that it is advertised as a drink for James Bond.  So what do you think?  I think I'm about to get a "manly" drink.  Right?  James Bond.  Come on.  It was served in a rather feminine glass.  What's up with that?  See the picture, below.

We will take the time to comment on their cocktail menu.  Their drink descriptions are very unique.  Some of them tell you what's in the drink.  Some of them make a snarky comment like "If you don’t like this, we probably can’t be friends."  This is all very entertaining, but if I don't already know what the drink is... I have no idea what the drink is!  So, we enjoyed the silly comments since we could work most of them out.  But someone with less experience ordering cocktails might not know what 90% of the drinks actually are.

Let's get started.  We started off with oysters and corn fritters.

They only had one type of oyster available, so we got that one.  We decided to start with 5 and order more if we liked them.  We're glad we went with 5.  Our first impression: this is the only place to NOT serve the oysters over ice.  We didn't like that.  This is the only place to not serve mignonette sauce with the oysters.  Didn't like that.  We were given cocktail sauce that must have just been dumped out of a bottle that you could buy from Wegmans.  Actually, that's not fair to Wegmans.  You could get far better at Wegmans.
Putting the cheap cocktail sauce in a fancy metal bowl doesn't make the cocktail sauce any better.  We appreciated the presentation of the oysters, but we'd rather have them served on a rock, if that meant they'd come with mignonette sauce and over ice.  We also questioned how freshly they were shucked.  Stay away.

The Corn Fritters: Yeah, get those every time.  Melisa is the one who picked those out.  So two thumbs up for her.  Reading the menu, I just glanced over them and moved on.  But I bowed to her wisdom and said "sure, I guess I'll try them." Oh dear, how can corn possibly be so good?  Let's deep fry it and bathe it in a delicious garlic chili sauce. For the Win! They are crunchy and saucy and we devoured them.

We had been here before, and they do have fried oysters on the appetizer menu.  We tried them because we thought "maybe this could be the gateway oyster for someone who doesn't like oysters."  Logical, right?  Deep fry anything, and it is pretty good.  Well, not The Vesper's oysters, apparently.  They made oyster balls out of ~4-5 oyster's meats, then deep fried them.  The problem is that the middle remained very chewy and way too moist.  And they didn't get crunchy on the outside.  I'm not going to go into more detail because it is not pleasant.  Just stay away.

OK, please let the entrees rescue us!  Melisa went with Pan Seared Scallops and the Daily Sausage.  She really is the best at picking the best menu items.

The scallops were quite good.  The outside was just crispy enough and the inside was not chewy at all.  Everything was done just right.  They didn't dress them up very much.  They were just served over some vegetables.  I wanted a bit more flavor, like maybe a light sauce or glaze to go with them. But, they were done so well I can't hate on them too much.  Sometimes just doing something simple and doing it right is more important than smothering it in sauce.

The Daily Sausage was another good choice.  Once again, they weren't dressed up too much, but it didn't really need it.  The sausage had a lot of flavor.  I wouldn't have minded if they had crisped it up just a little bit more.  It came with crostinis, 2 different mustards (including my favorite, with the tiny balls in the mustard!), and seared onions.  Every bite was very good.  A solid choice for the carnivore in your house.

I (Mike) was having trouble deciding.  I had their Shrimp Po-Boy the last and only other time we were here.  I really liked it, so I was tempted to get it again.  I will take a sentence to reinforce, that the Shrimp Po-Boy is a very good option, here.  Very good and appealing to a wide audience... well, unless you don't like shrimp, of course.

But, in the interest of academics, I went with their daily special of fish cakes.  I love love love crab cakes, so this is probably a more affordable version, right? Well, chalk up another loss for Mike.  This was the feeling I got in my first bite. "Hey, do you like crab cakes?  Why don't you eat that, but with the most fish-y taste we can manage!"  Don't get me wrong, I like fish; which is why I thought this was a safe bet.  But, this was like anchovy fish.  Just so over-powering, bottom of the ocean, cheap fish.  Even with the (some version of) aioli sauce that came with this, I couldn't cover up the fish taste.  It was brutal.  I could only choke down 1 1/4 of my two cakes.  It was like punishment, trying to eat those.  I think the aioli sauce might even be serviceable, but I couldn't get through the fish taste, to let you know. 

At least I thought to order the fries! These fries are good.  They are absolutely PERFECT fries for your malt vinegar.  Nice and thick, but cooked so that they just barely start to shrivel a tiny bit.  This dries them out a bit, which is why you need the malt vinegar.  They still have the potato skin on some of them.  Looking at the plate, all we were given was ketchup that I swear came out of a squeeze-bottle from the grocery store (not going to insult Wegmans, here).  Once again, they put it in a little metal dish, like that would transform it into magically delicious ketchup.  We asked our server for malt vinegar because these fries are perfect for it.  Given the atmosphere of The Vesper, they must be classy enough to have malt vinegar available.  The Vesper has an European feel, and malt vinegar is a British thing.  Plus, the last time we ate here, we asked for malt vinegar to go with our fries.... nope, no malt vinegar.  OK, here comes a rant.  Please read it as if I'm very angry and trying to get it all out in one breath.

No place in Rochester that makes 1/2 way decent fries serves them with boring ketchup.  You don't have to serve them with malt vinegar.  I get it.  Depending on the part of the world you're from, you like different sauces with your fries.  If you're not going to serve fries that were born for malt vinegar with malt vinegar, than for the love of Pete, make your own sauce!  Good Luck has one of the best sauces in town that is tomato-based.   Serve it with Sriracha-aioli.  Serve it with some kind of BBQ sauce.  I don't care.  Take two sauces from the store, mix them together, and call it double-trouble sauce!  But do not insult me again by serving your fries with nothing but the ketchup that I can squirt on a crappy hotdog from the Blue-Cross Arena.  Especially if you're trying to market yourself as a trendy, upscale place to dine!  Honestly, with your oyster "sauce" and ketchup, you should be embarrassed.

OK, back to the review.  I did try to save my fries with the aioli sauce from my fish cakes.  That didn't really do much for me.  So, I guess we'll call the sauce mediocre.

We had their chips and dip the last time we were at The Vesper, too.  Once again, the chips were really good.  Nice and thin and crispy and crunchy.  Mmmm.  And the sauce was another let-down.  The chips are served with an onion and white bean dip.  Heavy on the onion.  The first bite or two is quite good.  Then, you start to get sick of the onion flavor and you can't escape it.  It's just too much.

They've gotten exactly ONE sauce correct at The Vesper.  The garlic Chili Sauce that comes with their corn fritters.  Everything else is crap. Sorry-not-sorry.

The Vesper does have a good beer selection, including some craft beers.  They have a very good wine selection.  Their cocktails are also very good.  Pair that with some good appetizers, and you have a good bar to sip on a drink and munch on some snacks while you socialize.

There has never been a wait for dining, but we've seen the bar stools get filled up.  The servers are good enough.  Attentive since it is such a small place and they don't have much else to do.  Other than that, just ho-hum.

So, we peg The Vesper as yet another good place to go for a drink and an appetizer.  Maybe go before your Geva show, since you can walk there in good weather.  Other than that, we probably won't go out of our way to get to The Vesper.  We don't like being served sub-par food and sauces as if they are something special.  It's like they're trying to make us believe it, but only halfheartedly.  Like when you were asked if you brushed your teeth or cleaned your room as a kid.  Sure.... ~smile & shifty-eyes~ uh huh....

With that said, they do have some unique flavors and if you know what to order, you can survive a sit-down dinner, and truly enjoy your food.  Just make sure you lock your car... but honestly, The Vesper isn't far from Dinosaur.  If I want a sit down dinner, I'll go there.  Of course, the counter argument is that The Vesper is more refined, quiet, and elegant.  So, it depends on your mood.

Roux (Oyster Special)

MMMMMMmmmm

Turn Ons:
Romantic, Intimate Atmosphere
Great Staff and Few Tables per Server
Food Presentation
Frites
Good Cocktails
Absinthe

Turn Offs:
Only 1 Oyster Selection
Hit-or-Miss Food
Small Space
Awful Restroom Accommodations
No Happy Hour

Summary:
This review will focus on Roux's Oyster special, as we are taking the week to go to an Oyster Special every day and compare them. But we are also touching on other items, as well.

Roux: A mixture of fat (especially butter) and flour used in making sauces.
Interesting.  We didn't notice anything in the menu that resembled this at all.  Maybe they should change the name to Absinthe...

Roux is an up-scale, romantic, and intimate French-inspired restaurant on Park Ave.  You wouldn't know that by going to their website.  I stared at their homepage for minutes, waiting for the rest of it to load, only to realize "Nope.  That's all there is." And you might pass by it walking down Park Ave, as it really blends in to the nearby shops.  Nothing really grabs your attention.  However, that adds to the feeling that you're walking into a speak-easy that no one else can see from the street.  Almost like walking onto Platform 9 3/4. (Mike takes a bow for his ingenious simile)  The last item is that you'll have to fight with the usual Park Ave parking situation as they don't have their own lot.

Sorry for the out-of-focus picture, but this is all we have to help you see the mood set by Roux.  I didn't want to get any patrons in the picture:

It is dark, and has 1920's music quietly playing in the background.  It is upscale, with the tin ceiling and old architecture.  Just don't use their restroom, or you'll totally lose the feeling of grandeur.  It's like leaving a palace and entering a dungeon... where guys in aprons loudly wash dishes.  They don't even try to continue the atmosphere.  And it is one single-occupant bathroom for all genders. (It's 2016, so it's "all" genders, not "both") I guess that will help them to avoid having to re-model if any new legislation comes out regarding bathroom rights for different gender identifications, but I digress...  The point is, if you stay away from the bathroom, the atmosphere is quite enjoyable, and I'd wear something nicer than jeans and a t-shirt.

We've had a few different cocktails, and everyone has enjoyed them all, so you can't go wrong.  We don't think they have a Happy Hour, so that's a bummer.  Their cocktails are $10, so the lack of Happy Hour isn't show-stopper.  Here is our Soften The Blow:

It tasted just like licorice.  You can tell they really know their hard liquor due to the single large ice cube.  It keeps your drink cold, while minimizing the total surface area of the ice; thus reducing the amount of "watering down" of your drink due to melted ice.  Strangely, their cocktail menu seems to be centered around Absinthe.  I find that odd, yet kind of refreshing and unique.  I thought absinthe was illegal in the US, but maybe just in certain alcohol contents or only in certain forms... we're not experts on that.  Anyway, illegal or not; you can find it here in abundance!

As expected, we started with the oysters.  Unfortunately, we only had one kind of oyster to choose from.  So, I guess you get what you get.  We better like it:

Interestingly enough, we were in the act of discussing how disappointed we were with Lento's oyster serving tray when our oysters came out.  Roux, for the win! Our picture doesn't do them justice.  These trays are gorgeous.  Easily the best oyster presentation of the week.  However, that was where our enthusiasm came to a screeching halt.  The mignonette sauce wasn't bad.  I just thought it was weak.  I put it below Lento's, which is below Erie Grill's.  These oysters had a lot of meat in them, which is good.... but they had a very powerful flavor that wasn't very good.  And the mignonette wasn't strong enough to cover it up.  When I say a powerful flavor, I don't  mean like salty or brine-y.  Because those are good oyster flavors.  I mean, I wonder if these oysters are very fresh.  It was a powerful sea-floor and bad meat flavor.  So, while they had the best presentation, they also had the worst flavor.

We did get a few more things.  Their frites were very good.  I can always sit down and munch on good frites all night.  The seared duck breast was very good.  Go ahead and order that every time.  It's kind of pricey, but hey; it's duck.  They cook it medium.  I'd rather medium-rare for just a bit more juiciness and flavor, but Melisa says that duck is always cooked medium.  Something about not wanting to get people sick or some garbage like that....  ~Rolls eyes~

I was surprised by how disappointed I was with their Onion Soup Gratinee.  Read: French Onion Soup.  Something was off.  I couldn't place it.  It had all the right stuff.  Once again, an impeccable presentation.  That melted cheese had me all revved up and ready to dive in.  But I was so underwhelmed when I took a spoon-full.  How does something smothered in melted cheese underwhelm me?  We both tried it over and over and tossed ideas back and forth, trying to figure out what was missing, and this is what we came up with.  It was missing something or had some kind of different ingredient.  Melisa proposed an idea that we're going with.  We're not sure if it is true or not, but we're going with it.  We're used to French Onion Soup.  Roux is very traditionalist French.  Melisa suggested that maybe when we eat French Onion Soup, we're really eating an Americanized version of Onion Soup Gratinee.  It seemed like where I wanted a meat bouillon flavor, I was greeted with a sherry flavor.  That was a bummer.  So, this might just be us being used to a different kind of flavor.  But, if we're used to that flavor, you probably are too.  Feel free to take the risk and try it for yourself.  I don't want to scare you away, but I do want to warn you.

So, they do have good items on their menu.  The oysters are not one of them.  Everything is presented very well.  The servers are great and they pay close attention to your needs because they don't have many tables to serve.  The counter-argument is, of course, that they don't have many tables and you could find yourself waiting on a busy night.  The drinks are very good, and they even have an entire menu dedicated to absinthe.  So maybe just come to try some absinthe, if anything.  They do have at least a couple misses on the menu, so beware.  And if you bring a date, make sure your date uses the bathroom before coming here.  Honestly, their bathroom (and the trek to find it) totally ruins any atmosphere that the restaurant built, which is a shame.

Would we go again?  Sure, if someone else wants to try it.  Or maybe if we're doing a fancy date night on Park Ave.  But then again, there are other fancy restaurants on Park Ave that we can go to.

Lento (Oyster Special)

MMMMMMMmmm

Turn Ons:
Best Oyster Selection and Variance in Town
Great Service
Good Cocktails
Duck Fat Frites

Turn Offs:
Short Happy Hour (5-6)
Long Wait Time for Oysters
Pricey Entrees

Summary:
This review will focus on Lento's Oyster special, as we are taking the week to go to an Oyster Special every day and compare them. But we are also touching on other items, as well.

When we walked through all of the Village Gate to get to Leno, we were promptly greeted by the hostess in a dark, upscale restaurant.  We've been here quite a few times.  Melisa really likes it here, but I (Mike) have never really looked forward to trips to Lento... until I had their oysters.  I couldn't put my finger on it until recently, and others may disagree with me.  This is just my opinion and I mean no offense by it.  When I walk into Lento, it seems to have a feminine atmosphere to me.  As a guy, I have no problem with feminine atmospheres, of course; but they're not exactly where I'm most comfortable.  Maybe because Lento makes me think of lentil, which makes me think of no-meat.  Or the vine-y decal on the door when one walks in.  The dark lighting and modern table-settings.  It just feels... feminine to me.  Feel free to disagree.  Here's a picture:

I will concede that there is a thin line between elegant/up-scale and feminine.  So, this could just be my personal taste.  But, you don't see very many Carhartt jackets or football jerseys in there.

Outside of oysters, Lento is a great place for cocktails.  They are very good.  During their very short happy hour, you can get a good price.  I was disappointed that they only have ONE cocktail you can order for the happy hour price.  There was also one beer and three wines available for happy hour.  Count us as disappointed in the minuscule selection.  So, as long as you would like your only option, it's a good deal and very tasty.

On to the oysters.  They always seem to have 4-5 oysters available for $1 and two to select from for $2.  The flavors of the oysters is nice and diverse and the staff is very knowledgeable about where they come from, flavor profiles, etc.  You can only order a maximum of 30 oysters for the table at a time.  With a large group, you just have to keep re-ordering them and keep 'em coming!  Their mignonette sauce is very good.  2nd only to Erie Grill.  But just barely.  I did have to keep asking for more of it, however.  They don't bring enough for 30 oysters.  Actually, they don't bring enough for 15-20 oysters if you really like your mignonette.  I will take a second to gripe about how long it takes the oysters to come out.  To their credit, they do warn you, but... If you order 30 of them, be prepared to wait.  They shuck them behind the bar.  I don't know if they have dedicated shuckers or not, but it looks like a bar tender has to come off of bar duty.  This becomes a problem with 4 or more people at the table.  We got through 30 oysters well before our next round came out.  So, we had about 10-15 minutes of waiting after we had already been there for 30-45 minutes.  Now we appreciate the shucking for the freshness, but there has to be a better system.  Maybe have someone in the back shucking to keep 20-30 ready to go.  Then, when an order comes in, it isn't so much of a catastrophe.

The oysters are served on a big metal plate.  This isn't very appealing, and seems like a dish that should be kept in the back to prepare food.  Especially at a more upscale place with high prices. We do like the little flags that they put on the plate so you can identify which oyster is which.  They're all quite good, so enjoy that.  Also enjoy instructing your uncultured friends how to eat oysters.  For an oyster night with a group, this is where we would go.

Lento's duck fat frites are very good, and go well with oysters.  They have a seafood bar, so you can grab any of the following seafood you'd like at any time: oysters, lobster tail, shrimp, clams, and crab claws. So if you're swinging by for just a quick drink, why not add a small seafood taste?

Lento has an average selection of entrees and they're all pretty good.  We've never been floored by anything, but also never disappointed.  We do always seem to be there for a long time, no matter if it is oyster night or not.  This is both because the relaxed atmosphere doesn't make you feel in a rush and because it takes longer between visits from our server than most other places.

The drinks are good and reasonably priced.  But if you're getting real entrees to go along with the drinks, it gets expensive.

We peg Lento as a great place to go for a cocktail during happy hour.  Maybe get some oysters, frites, and/or an appetizer to go along with it, if you want.  But, if we want to have a sit down dinner at a real dinner time with a real entree, we usually choose to go elsewhere.

For us, the price tag and wait time are usually enough where we can come up with another place to go. (see Gate House or Selena's, just a 15 second walk down the Village Gate)  We do come back, but it is usually when a friend asks to go or if we're here for the oysters.   Don't get me wrong; they're right at the top of the list for Oysters, and also for cocktails.

We'll swing by for cocktails before going to see a show at the Auditorium Theater.  Park at the Village Gate, have a cocktail or two and an appetizer or two.  Walk to the show.  Then walk back to the car after the show to avoid all of the traffic and paying for parking.  Nailed it!

Lento is worth checking out.  Maybe you'll like the atmosphere more than Mike.  They should certainly be on your radar for oysters and cocktails.  We recommend giving it a try for a quick drink and snack.  Then, decide if you'll want to come back for the full experience.